I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
