I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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