I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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