i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
