I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
