So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
