You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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