And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
