i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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