I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
