If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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