The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
