Small penises have feelings too.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
