did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
