ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
