is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
