There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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