3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
