I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Enjoy the penises
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
