O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
