fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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