I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
