Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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