Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize