I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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