try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
