I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
