I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
