I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
