Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
