He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
