i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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