peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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