it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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