i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
