I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
