Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
