Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
