i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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