He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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