you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
