How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize