If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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