dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
