I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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