Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
