she looked like the before picture.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
