I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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