Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
