someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
