Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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