i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
