therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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