ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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