I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
