please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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