looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
