yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
