Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
