so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
