I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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