my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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