its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
